The Beckhams and American Soccer

True Americans as a whole don't watch soccer. The only ones that actually do are either of Latino decent or are the weenie children of obsessive mothers who want their children to feel like winners, but can't accept the fact that every real sport causes some injury.

Does anyone know who created soccer? I'd like to find them and beat them over the head with a shoe. This happens to be the stupidest sport ever known to man. It has no point. It requires very little skill to play. Anyone who can run back and forth down a field and kick something is a master of the sport. Congratulations to you. Soccer as a whole is a dumbed down version of many of our most popular games, which, get vastly more viewing time per capita than the pathetic game of soccer.

Take basketball for instance. In basketball you do have to run back and forth on the court, however, you must enact harder skills than just kicking something. In basketball, it's actually hard to throw a three-pointer. You have to have good aim- hand/eye coordination if you will. Also, instead of just kicking it down a field/court you have to keep that same hand/eye coordination and dribble taking special care not to move without that ball moving as well. Thank God you can touch it.

I haven't quite yet figured out what makes soccer appealing. You can't just plow through people with intent to knock them over or hurt them (i.e. American football and hockey), you can't hit it with a stick to score points (i.e. baseball, cricket, and field hockey), and you definitely can't touch the ball with your hands at all (i.e. every other sport known to man).

Now, onto the most laughable thing I've ever heard of in my life. Some crappy team in L.A. actually signed David Beckham to their soccer team to boost viewership. Oh yeah, a British guy came to America with his very over-played wife, we'll pay him 3 times what he's worth because we're desperate to bring in viewers to a sport that most Americans hate anyway. I feel so sorry to tell you "unknown L.A. soccer team" you wasted your money. From how I take it, whatever team he was on in the UK was planning on retiring his ass anyway, because he is OLD. Not to mention that just because some stupid British guy and his wanna-be supermodel wife have come to America DOES NOT mean that more people are going to watch that stupid game.

Do I know who the hell won the "whatever kind of cup or bowl you win in soccer"? NO. Do I care? Absolutely not. Would I rather shoot off half my foot than watch a full-length game of soccer just one time? Pass me the gun and make sure the bullets aren't duds or blanks please.